Every time someone says, “There’s no problem, there’s just challenges,” I always feel terribly sick. Sorry for the harsh choice of words, but this “if I use a different word, everything is half as bad” thinking makes me feel unwell.
Yes, it’s important to watch the words you use, especially when you’re talking to yourself. Because words become reality. No question about it, I stand behind that 100%.
But problems don’t go away when you use another word instead. They stay.
One thing right up front:
“It can’t be a goal to have no problems.”
Because setting a goal like that is stupid. It would be just like setting the goal, I want things to stop falling to the ground because of gravity from now on.
It won’t work. Period. That’s it. Finished.
Life consists of problems. Of course, there are serious existential problems. And ridiculous prosperity problems. But in some area of life, there are always hurdles you face . If you have a lot of money, maybe it’s your body. If you’re fit and healthy, maybe your partnership is in trouble, and if you’re in a perfect relationship, maybe you’re lacking money. You could go on forever, but it’s important to accept that there is no life without problems.
The good news is:
We only have two problems in life
Everything about hurdles, challenges, problems, challenges and whatever else you want to call them can be traced back to two starting points.
Problem 1: I have something I don’t want.
Problem 2: I want something I don’t have.
(Note: “have” is meant metaphorically and not in the context of “possession.”)
Think about what’s bothering you, what problems are in your life, and you’ll notice that it fits into either one or the other pigeonhole.
So take a deep breath:
“You don’t have a hundred problems, you only have two!”
As is often the case, it’s a matter of simplifying things so that you can then address them properly. You often find yourself perplexed by large chunks of problems because of this, because you don’t know where to start. The solution itself is usually not so difficult, but rather the “not seeing the forest for the trees”.
I have dedicated myself to the problem of “solving the problem”. First of all, the problem “solving problem” falls under the category 1 “I have something I don’t want”.
That used to be easy.
But now to the 7 steps how you get rid of every problem. And you can do it faster and more “smoothly” than you think.
The art of solving a problem in 7 steps
1) Ask yourself: Is this really my problem?
Often you and I solve problems that are not ours. Means: Look calmly if you are just “living with” the problem (because a relative, partner, friend, colleague etc. is struggling with it) or if it really concerns you. If it is not “yours”, you cannot solve it for someone else.
2) Accept it
If it is really your problem: Then accept it as it is. Accept it and don’t try to solve it for someone else. to think away”. Only when something is really there, and you take it for granted and accept it, can you change it. If your unconscious is working hard to repress it, it can’t work hard to solve it at the same time.
3) Break down the problem
As mentioned in the introduction: a problem loses its terror when it is dissected. If the partial aspects, accompanying circumstances, basic conditions are illuminated by you and also becomes clear, which it needs for the problem all at factors, so that it can be in such a way, you already notice that you must remove or change only one domino from the whole chain and the thing looks immediately differently. Fire can destroy a lot, but it needs a few basic conditions for it to burn brightly. A problem too.
4) Develop a step-by-step process.
Individual parts have the significant advantage of being able to be put into an arrangement. As a checklist or process that can be approached, worked out and done step by step. With each step, your problem wiggles more. And eventually it’s gone. Just like that.
5) Look at the problem/sub-problems from the outside.
If the process has not yet delivered the solution you want, then take allies and have people “on the outside” looking at it. So take neutral observers and let them describe how they see and feel the problem. And go through points 3 and 4 with them.
6) Find at least 7 different solutions
With or without allies, host a problem-bashing workshop. Simply spend an hour brainstorming ideas on how to make the problem disappear from the scene once and for all. Out of all the ideas (no matter how absurd) you collect 7 and immediately decide on a way. And: You immediately take the first step. If that doesn’t work, you still have 6 other possibilities. Come quickly into action and then
7) Have patience
May sometimes sound really absurd and unthinkable, but some problems solve themselves. “Sit and Wait”. Not necessarily very sexy, dynamic and cool, but often the best and even fastest way. Once you’ve gone through points 1-6 a few times on different problems, you’ll get a sense of when to let go.
Bonus: Roll the dice
If you have a lot of ideas at point 6, or you’re just a bad decision maker, roll the dice.
O.k., now Markus is completely out of his mind. You want me to let the dice decide?
I stumbled across the book “The Dicer*” some time ago. It’s a novel about a psychiatrist who starts to hand over every life decision to the dice, step by step. Sounds really bizarre at first, becomes so as the book progresses. The book dates back to the 1970s, and at that time a cult quickly developed around the “dice theory”. It is interesting to note that the book has recently been reprinted. Even if it’s not practical for everyday life, rolling the dice is a good idea now and then.
How do you approach your problems?
Do you avoid the word?
What is your strategy when hurdles come up?
Are problems always in your focus or do you direct your
e attention to the solution?
But one thing
You can never solve problems with the same way of thinking that created them.
So: get out of the hamster wheel and be successful in a relaxed way. With problems.
Czytaj dalej: https://markuscerenak.com/problem.html