You may remember the commercial where a woman walked through the frame and was heard saying, ” I want to stay the way I am” – and the response was, “You may”!

Stop. Read the first sentence again and realize what was said there in a commercial so incidentally almost banal and terse: If you want to stay the way you are, you have to ask permission.

But I think there’s more to it than that: if you don’t want to stay the way you are, if you want to change and develop, if you want to leave your habitual zone and discover something new, then you really have to ask for permission

. Not officially and officially, but I think you know what I mean. And we ask permission a lot.

And very often it is not because of the permission of others. It’s because we don’t want to give ourselves permission. Permission to push the boundaries, to get off the hamster wheel, to succeed at what you love to do.

One of the most common statements I hear when I talk to clients or respond to letters to the editor is


I feel like I’m stuck in my life.

This can be meant in a lot of different ways. Maybe they are in a relationship that is going nowhere, but don’t know how to get out of it. Maybe they have a dream of starting their own lifestyle business, but don’t know where to start. Or maybe they just want to have more fun in their life, but don’t know exactly how to achieve it.

The feeling of being stuck is familiar to most of us. Although we are constantly in motion in our lives, few movements actually get us anywhere. You can compare this situation to a log stuck between two rocks in a river. The river is flowing all around us, but we are not moving any further. Why does it happen so easily that we are pulled out of the flow of life? What in our way of living causes us to get stuck?

There are probably many answers to these questions. Today, we’re going to address the five most common “stucknesses” that keep us from living and working in a self-directed way. Outside the hamster wheel. sasint

/ Pixabay.

Believe your thoughts

The average mind has about 60,000 thoughts per day, and most of us believe about 99 percent of them. Some of our thoughts are a product of our upbringing and the culture we live in. Others are the product of our minds brilliantly filtering our observations and drawing conclusions about the world. Our thoughts help us make sense of our environment and our lives, so it’s only logical that we believe our thoughts to be true.

However, this can become problematic. We become attached to beliefs that may no longer help us. Maybe you too know for a fact that you are not good at art, sports or math?

Most of us haven’t even gotten out of elementary school without at least a little negative criticism in at least one of those areas. When asked in kindergarten, “Who can sing?” everyone shows

on. These same “kids” will think twice a few years later, having heard “you can’t do that” often enough.

What beliefs are you still holding

on to that might be holding back your life? What do you think you could never do? What things shouldn’t be the way they are? Who would be very upset if you followed your heart? It might be time to examine your whole worldview and consider what thoughts are holding you hostage in your own life.

Blaming others for our circumstances

How many times have you heard comments like, “My supervisor is such a jerk, no wonder I can’t do my job right” or “It’s not my fault, it wasn’t my decision!”

We all have areas in our lives that don’t go as well as we would like. That’s just the way life is. There are nasty surprises from time to time. Our job is to figure out the best way to deal with those surprises.

Some people just wait it out. They may let great opportunities pass them by, preferring to wait for the next surprise that they hope will be better. Life, however, does not wait. After a while, these people are still standing around waiting while life passes them by and they are now really stuck.

Not you! Because you can take a step that will get you out of it

Taking life (and yourself) too seriously

Most of us believe that the key to success is hard work. Recently, long hours have been added to that belief. I would like to challenge that belief and add something else. While they say “work first, pleasure later,” we can’t do without pleasure entirely.

To keep our lives flowing, we need to accommodate fun, joy and creativity in our work. We need time to enjoy moments and recharge our batteries without feeling guilty or irresponsible for doing so. During these times of relaxation and joy, we often think of solutions to problems, new ways to approach life’s surprises, and new strategies that can improve and enrich our lives. eak_kkk

/ Pixabay

Living the life of ordinariness

One of the easiest ways to stop our lives is to live average, instead of traveling a little further off center. Living from the middle means staying safely in familiar territory, not breaking out of areas where we feel safe. It means doing things the same way all the time, avoiding change at all costs, and banishing any spontaneity from life. As boring as that sounds, it’s the kind of life most people lead. As a result, the middle is an extremely crowded place where it’s very easy to get stuck once you’re there.

By encouraging yourself to take small but constant steps toward the “edges,” you’ll find that life has much more space in which to move freely.

The feart succumb to the unknown

Fear is a powerful emotion. One of the most important factors that keeps many people – maybe you, too – on the hamster wheel is fear. It protects us and keeps us away from dangerous things, but it can also shut us out from new and great things. Most of us get a little nervous when we’re not sure what might be around the next corner. However, sometimes you have to take a leap into the unknown to get your life back on track.

Our lives will be stuck like a log in a rock every now and then. The question is not whether we get stuck. The question is how we can extricate ourselves from that situation to get our lives back in the flow.

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